I’ve been where you are.

I attempted suicide once.  It didn't take. The second time, I woke up from the attempt, and my wife took me to the hospital. The third time, I planned to take my life in the evening, but in the morning, I went to see my doctor, and he admitted me to the hospital. That decision saved my life.

Back then, I was convinced I had run out of options. My brain kept whispering that I was a burden, that things would never change, that the world would be better off without me. That voice? It’s a liar, an insidious liar who doesn’t deserve a microphone.

If you’re in that dark place right now, here are five things to do before you make any decisions—five things backed by evidence that your brain doesn’t want you to know. And to make it even more annoying for the liar in your head, I’m going to throw in some humour. Because if I’ve learned anything, it’s that sometimes, laughing at the ridiculousness of our own thoughts is exactly what we need.

Delay the Decision

Lying Brain Says: “Nothing will change. Waiting won’t make a difference.”
Reality Check: Suicidal crises are like surprise pop quizzes on a subject you didn’t study for. They feel impossible at the moment but don’t last forever. Research shows that if you wait even 24 hours, the intensity of suicidal thoughts can lessen.

What to Do:

• Set a timer for 24 hours.
• In the meantime, do something completely pointless: Google weird animal facts (did you know wombat poop is cube-shaped?).

• Maybe watch a show that is so dumb that it makes you question reality. Given the state of the world, I recommend “Idiocracy.”
• Eat an entire loaf of bread like a raccoon in a bakery. Just do anything that keeps you here a little longer.

Reduce Immediate Danger

Lying Brain Says: “If I don’t have access to means now, I’ll just find another way later.”
Reality Check: The vast majority of suicide attempts are impulsive. Limiting access to lethal means saves lives. It’s not about willpower—it’s about making it harder for a bad moment to become permanent.

What to Do:

• Hand over anything dangerous to someone you trust. Lock it up. Hide it in a place even your future self wouldn’t have the energy to search (you know the place).
• Put it in a box and bring it to your neighbor to "hold" for you while you do some "cleaning." You’re not removing options. You’re giving yourself time. And in this, time is everything.

Talk to Someone

Lying Brain Says: “Nobody wants to hear about my problems. I’ll be a burden.”
Reality Check: Have you ever had a friend disappear for weeks, then come back and say, “I didn’t want to bother you,”—and all you wanted to do was shake them and yell, “You’re not a bother, you’re my friend!” Yeah. That’s how people feel about you (This was the hard one for me).

What to Do:

• Call or text someone. You don’t have to say anything profound. Just a simple “Hey, I’m struggling. Can you be here with me?” You’ll be surprised how many people will drop what they’re doing to show up for you.
• Call 911.  RCMP and Ambulance in Canada are there to help!
• Call a crisis line if you don’t have access to a friend.  Scroll to the bottom to find one in your area or your language.

Engage Your Senses and Body

Lying Brain Says: “That’s too simple. A walk or holding something cold won’t fix this.”
Reality Check: Hugging an ice pack won’t solve all your existential crises, but it will interrupt the spiral. Think of it like unplugging a frozen computer—it doesn’t delete the problem but gives you a chance to reboot.  I have effectively used breathing, plunging my face into ice-cold water repeatedly and exercising (Push-ups and sit-ups…even burpees if you have the knees for it).

What to Do:

• Hold a frozen bag of peas like it’s your emotional support (hold it long enough, and you can make soup).
• Take slow, deep breaths—pretend you’re inflating a balloon animal for an ungrateful child at a birthday party. Try this breathing app if you haven't done breathing exercises before.
• Move! Walk, stretch, shake out your hands. Your body isn’t the enemy; it’s just caught in the crossfire. Give it something new to focus on.

5. Remind Yourself That Thoughts Are Not Commands

Lying Brain Says: “If I feel this way, it must be true. Suicide is my only way out.”
Reality Check: Your brain also convinces you to check the fridge 17 times, even though nothing new has appeared. Not every thought deserves a response. Suicidal thoughts are distress signals, not orders.

What to Do:

• Say (out loud): “Okay, brain, I hear you, but I’m not taking advice from someone who also thought cutting my own bangs was a good idea.”
• Write the thought down, then challenge it: Would I believe this if a friend said it about themselves?
• Treat your brain like an overdramatic roommate: “I see you’re spiralling, but I’m not signing up for your nonsense today.”

Final Thought

The hardest part of suicidal thoughts is that they make you believe there’s no way forward. That’s the lie. There is a way forward—it just might not look like what you expect.

I won’t pretend this is easy. I won’t tell you that everything magically gets better overnight. But I will tell you this: you don’t have to do this alone.

Take one step. Then another. You are still here. You are still worth saving.